What Does Service Look Like in Your Marriage?
Do you want to have a more Christ-like love for your spouse? If so, a good place to start is with service. Christ was (and is) the epitome of service. His whole life was service. He healed the sick, clothed the naked, fed the hungry, and changed people’s very lives. Studying the life of Christ is one recommendation for being inspired on how to serve your spouse.
Nowadays it seems like everyone is rushing around trying to fit too many things into their day. Rarely do we stop to think about how we are doing, let along how other people in our life are doing. My husband and I were talking one day about how we didn’t want to be too busy hustling and grinding to not be available for or aware of our neighbors, friends, or family who might need us and most especially, each other.
I bring this up because we’ve been there, and sometimes are still there. In our season of life right now, there are some days my husband works from 7:30am to 6:30pm- that’s 11 hours! While he’s away, I’m also working at home. Because he’s been gone so long and usually comes through the front door talking on the phone with a client, when he does get home, I keep working at my computer. Now tell me, how in the world are we supposed to serve each other when we are both preoccupied with other things besides our marriage most of the day? Hint: It’s difficult, but not impossible.
Questions I like to think about when deciding on how best to serve my husband:
1. What’s something nice I can do for (spouse’s name) that would help him/her out?
2. How can I intentionally give service to (spouse’s name)?
3. How would (spouse’s name) actually like me to serve him/her (not how I would like to be served)?
4. What’s something I can do that would help him/her reduce their stress level?
5. What’s a need or want I can help him/her with?
The cool thing about service is that there are so many ways that you can go about giving it! Serving your spouse helps you to love them more and contributes to a whole host of other positive outcomes. Do you notice that when your spouse does something nice for you that you are more than willing to return the favor, that you’re more loving, and that happiness is more easily found?
Ideas to help get those wheels going for what you can do to serve your spouse:
Do one of their errands so they don’t have to.
Write down all of the qualities you love about them then give it to them.
Help them cross off something on their to-do list.
Do one of their household chores so they don’t have to.
Do something they need help with without them having to ask.
Stay up late with them if they have a homework assignment or are nursing the baby.
Do a service project for someone else together.
Study the acts of service Jesus did for others.
It’s important to remember that this isn’t a game to see who can serve each other the most. Resist the temptation to keep a score of how often you serve your spouse. Score keeping is a sure-fire way to ruin any good thing that you’ve done for them. It not only causes feelings of resentment on your end but can also lead to contention. And that’s the opposite of what we are trying to create. Nurture your relationship with kind and loving acts of service and watch your relationship transform into a whole new level.